and it happens again

Somehow I know that there is this great force out there that will force balance upon what's happening in your life.

Consider my previous post. And a few hours after I was feeling really down I was given a second chance. And I took it. Or at least I made the initiative to take it. News ain't out yet about the result but it's okay I guess. If I fail this time I won't be as sad, also :). Though it's a good thing if I get it ^^

These kind of turn-around events has happened to me almost everytime I had a heart-shattering experience -- not that I have many to recount though.

To do today: study finance, read MPW, and wash choir wrap.

...

I'm such a pampered kid. And I noticed it today. Good thing that I finally notice that...

I do not face many failures in my 19 year old life. I usually get what I wanted. And I think I should be grateful that the force out there has given me a peg down on my ego.

Oh, I faced failure before, but only for things that I do not really want. You see, my last year in high school, I applied for the 3 local unis in Singapore. But out of the three I only want to go to one of them. And I got in, whilst I didn't get accepted to the 2 others that I didn't really want to go. So it's no big deal even though I'm aware of these failures, cause I don't really want it in the first place.

Other failures will be about grades. First term in uni as well as first term in high school, my grades were not as high as my expectation. But my expectations are beyond average so I still can compare with others.

Oh, and I failed on a test before. once. but with a perfectly logical reason that the failure is acceptable for me and that it actually brings more good as I get to attend the so called remedial class at school. Remedial class has been terrifyingly useful, more useful than if I studied the subject myself.

Sounds like a perfect life? Now that I'm here and I reflect on my life back, I think it's really uneventful. It sounded too good to be true. I don't think my life is perfect. I think I'm delusional, living in a life of lies trying to be content with myself.

Now though, as I signed up for what I really want, and I didn't get through, the failure hits really hard. And I don't know what I do wrong. And I want to know, but am afraid to ask.

Simply put, I don't deal with many failures in my life. And I'm dealing with one right now. And I'm clueless how I should face it...

This is one of my fears when I start to notice how competitive it is here. I know that at some point I'll have to fail. And I do fail. And I need to learn to get used to it and turn the disappointment to something more useful.

Share your experience, anyone?

So I get a picture how to overcome this.