Econs application

Do you know what makes an all-rounder a bad thing?

If you are not a good enough all-rounder (and sometime good enough is not enough), you will always be at comparative disadvantage

(to be updated later)

Losing myself

I'm losing
I'm drowning
I need reassurance
Not from a biased person
Not from someone who are used to me
But from someone honest
Someone objective enough
To tell me who I am
What I am good at
What I am supposed to be

Sorry, I'm being really emotional these few days
I need something that will help me prove my worth in this strange and foreign environment, completely different with my really comfortable zone back then

anyone?

Self Discovery

I can't believe that I actually learn something during CT class today.

Here's an excerpt of what I typed in my OneNote earlier

--> Creativity is…
· Making connections/associations. ~Steve Jobs.
· Act of turning new & imaginative ideas into reality
· Requires passion and commitment
○ The more time you spend time with your interest, more the results

The third point brought me into a deep thought. What is my passion?
Looks like an easy question, huh?

But now I cannot answer it. I don't really know myself now.
A few years back.. I might know it, but I'm also not so sure.

I really really need to start again my journey to a self-discovery. >.<

Motivation

I just found one usefulness of writing a blog. It gives you motivation when you reread it. These past few days I have been feeling slack, but after reading my old posts and comments from my friends and sister, my motivation came back.

Choir practices have been hectic and I got a throat inflammation yesterday. It is still painful even now :(. But I was losing the enjoyment in going to the choir. Why? One reason I can think of is that we practiced too often already. And I'm starting to get bored of it. Also, yesterday's practice was quite the critique to Alto. I really need to learn to accept being criticized. =S.

Sigh...

But anyway, I read my old posts and I realize that life is not easy. It is not easy at all. So I guess I just need to cope with it and try to perfect my imperfect aspects.

Life sucks? Yes, but it's still enjoyable

Back again with the girl who is in a high writing mood right now.

Referring to my previous post Singing: such a harmony of which mentioned that life generally sucks, I would like to put in a few comments regarding this.

There's a saying that is unequivocally true: The grass in the other side is always greener. This is the indisputable truth that cause us to suffer. As what Buddha said, 'life is a suffering'. We suffer because we were constantly in envy with other people.

You may think you don't envy others when your life is so perfect. But I've known better. I consider my life to be more fortunate compared to some others, but I still find myself desiring something those who are less fortunate than me own. Let me give a graphic example of this. I really really think that I lived a smooth and sailing life during my childhood and puberty compared to my sister who had a lot of problems (silly & serious ones). Though I'm blessed with not much problems, I know that I envy my sister for those problems. I really think that getting problems is where I can get the experience so that I would be more experienced and wise in the future.

Weird, right? Envying someone for their problems when you have none at all.

Envy, such a strong feeling. Envy does not mean ungrateful. You can envy someone even when you're grateful. Like me, I'm actually grateful that I don't have to go through all the problems, but I also envy those who had problems.

Urm... Now I confuse myself.....

Anyway, life sucks when you know you can't get what you want and envy others for their getting it. But life is still enjoyable in its own way, in your own way. Life still can be enjoyed when you put what you have in yourself into work and be grateful for it.

Singing: such a harmony

Ever since I was in kindergarten, I've started singing in a choir. Back then, I have two commitments (though I did not use such complicated word back then), singing and dancing. I remembered that I had to choose one from the two to attend a competition in Surabaya (yes, kindergarten competition -- I even remember my friend sleeping in our way back in the car with her mouth open, haha). And back then, I chose dancing. That was not because I didn't like choir. It's just that I enjoyed dance more.

Until primary school, I still continued dancing (til around pri 3 I think). That was the time where my chubbiness turned from a cutey chubby to freaking fatso. And I lost my confidence to still be in a dance (duh, that was not the true reason though. I feet always hurt after ballet lesson -- dunno what went wrong). So I stopped dancing since then.

My interest was still there though. I would love to join dance in junior high or senior high, but the available dance was not the type of dance I'd like to join. So in senior high I joined choir back. =).
My choir career did not last though, because I have whole lots of other activities then. I would attend the practices but during performance day I often could not make it because I got something else more important on (it's rather sad actually).

At university, my old passion for dance came back because I found a dance group where I'd enjoy learning the dance (contemp - classic). Sadly, (yes! very very very sad!), I did not get to join because I flunked my audition. And here, a weighty girl amongst slender & thing girls (duh, life sucks a bit more if you're fat - note that I'm saying life generally sucks). And after that, I found the choir again~ which I really really enjoy.

One interesting thing about me is that I don't really follow music, I don't really like listening to the music, but I love singing.

And singing contributes much of my last week schedule: singing practices everyday all week long (be it choir or honk or the kissing group). It helps though; now it feels easier to reach high pitches xD.

I love my choir, I love singing, I love the harmony, I love the people.

We will be performing our annual concert: "Wrinkles in the air to.." next month. You're invited to watch our performance at Esplanade Recital Studio on Feb 10. Tickets is $16 each =). Contact me for tix!

finally, a swim in the last 6 months

As a water element girl -- based on my astrological horoscope: cancer, I basically love to swim. I can recall swimming since I was 2 or 3 years old. Back then my father would 'throw' me into the pool and let me do 'waterproof -- moving my limbs in order to stay floating', a great survival skills should I be within a deep water area.

I did quite a lot of swimming. And soon, swimming became natural to me. I used to join the swimming club in Malang which had 2 practices a week. It didn't last long, though.

The thing I hate most when going to swim is my medium-long hair. It is so ma fan to have long hair if you like swimming. --basically, I'm very lazy to have to wash hair every time I swim. Especially, back then I swam in a public place so the toilet is not that clean... Figures.. (SMU Gym shower is much much better -- best so far, haha).

Since I came to Singapore, I've always had an easy and accessible swimming pool - just below my condo. It is logical that if I like swimming then I should have make use of it. But during my 4-5 months stay in Singapore, I've never swum even once. Until today~.

Actually, even today, the laziness to swim also came back because then I only just finished having my late lunch. With a full stomach, exercising is really a big no no. However in the end I managed to beat my laziness and swam. Such a shame that the wind was quite disturbing just now; it made the water colder and not calm enough for an enjoyable swim.

I only lasted for around half an hour just now. The water was freaking cold, and the length of the pool is super long (I think it's the longest length I've even swum before -- half of it feels like what it usually is in Indo). But is it just me? Or is it a fact?

It could be that I was lacking in exercise -- which is why I felt going one length of the pool is really exhaustive.

Need to train more, need to swim more =). and make something out of my 2009 resolution ;)

New Year Resolution

Happy New Year to all readers (if any)

3 Resolutions for 2009

1.
Lose weight

2.
Work on my potential (be more likable, able to talk smoothly through presentations, improve writing skills, A [and A+] Grades)

3.
Be a less sensitive and emotional person (be more accepting)