and it happens again

Somehow I know that there is this great force out there that will force balance upon what's happening in your life.

Consider my previous post. And a few hours after I was feeling really down I was given a second chance. And I took it. Or at least I made the initiative to take it. News ain't out yet about the result but it's okay I guess. If I fail this time I won't be as sad, also :). Though it's a good thing if I get it ^^

These kind of turn-around events has happened to me almost everytime I had a heart-shattering experience -- not that I have many to recount though.

To do today: study finance, read MPW, and wash choir wrap.

...

I'm such a pampered kid. And I noticed it today. Good thing that I finally notice that...

I do not face many failures in my 19 year old life. I usually get what I wanted. And I think I should be grateful that the force out there has given me a peg down on my ego.

Oh, I faced failure before, but only for things that I do not really want. You see, my last year in high school, I applied for the 3 local unis in Singapore. But out of the three I only want to go to one of them. And I got in, whilst I didn't get accepted to the 2 others that I didn't really want to go. So it's no big deal even though I'm aware of these failures, cause I don't really want it in the first place.

Other failures will be about grades. First term in uni as well as first term in high school, my grades were not as high as my expectation. But my expectations are beyond average so I still can compare with others.

Oh, and I failed on a test before. once. but with a perfectly logical reason that the failure is acceptable for me and that it actually brings more good as I get to attend the so called remedial class at school. Remedial class has been terrifyingly useful, more useful than if I studied the subject myself.

Sounds like a perfect life? Now that I'm here and I reflect on my life back, I think it's really uneventful. It sounded too good to be true. I don't think my life is perfect. I think I'm delusional, living in a life of lies trying to be content with myself.

Now though, as I signed up for what I really want, and I didn't get through, the failure hits really hard. And I don't know what I do wrong. And I want to know, but am afraid to ask.

Simply put, I don't deal with many failures in my life. And I'm dealing with one right now. And I'm clueless how I should face it...

This is one of my fears when I start to notice how competitive it is here. I know that at some point I'll have to fail. And I do fail. And I need to learn to get used to it and turn the disappointment to something more useful.

Share your experience, anyone?

So I get a picture how to overcome this.

First day of June

It certainly doesn't feel like I haven't been updating the blog for two months. But in truth, yes it's been two months since I last wrote in this blog.

So what has been happening in these two months? Well firstly I have exams which fortunately I did quite well in. And after that is the results announcement. And I went back to Indonesia (twice -- the first one I went to Jakarta for weekend, went back to Singapore, and finally went back to Malang in the end of April.)

Stayed in Malang for around 10 days and went back to Singapore for choir practices. Other than that there isn't much thing happening nowadays.

Sometimes I blame myself for wasting such precious times. But still I can't get my lazy bum to bring me somewhere

I really have no idea what else to write for now. I'll probably write more later when I have an inspiration =)

Tipping Point

I've been quite worn out these few weeks due to a lot of presentations and projects. But finally after this week I only have 1 presentation left =). But final exams are looming in 3 weeks. I'm going to psycho myself to work for it, =P. *go for finals!*

Anyway, last week I went to Borders with my parents then bought two books. One of the books are the one that I've been wanting to buy: Gray's Anatomy -- a medical book, but it's put on bargain so I got it at only around $19 which is totally worth it (according to me). I only glanced a bit of it but because there are a lot of medical terms I'm not reading it for the time being. Maybe next time when I feel like it haha.

However, the other book is a business book, listed in the top 10 list for business book. It's called Tipping Point. I havent finished reading it but so far I think it is really a good book. And anyway it's not only for business, I really can apply it in other aspects of life. Actually what motivated me to buy this book is because the day before I had a demoralizing consultation with my prof regarding my D+ paper. *LOL*

Here is the story: I showed Prof my assignment and he read through it. And actually what destroys the whole message credibility is only the first two paragraphs (or maybe to pinpoint it further, the second paragraph). Whereas, everything else (3rd & 4th paragraphs) are actually doing very well. He told me how those two horrifying opening paragraphs destroy the credibility of the message. He also told me how a bit difference in the words used in those paragraphs can make a huge difference. Maybe D+ to A+? hahah.. maybe not A+ but B+ :p

So in the end I can't change the grade. But I learned the hard way how something very minor such as the choice of words can destroy the whole thing. This is an exact example of the famous Indonesian proverbs: "Karena nila setitik rusak susu sebelanga". ~ A tint of red ink will destroy the whole container of milk (literal translation)

When I went to Borders last week, I was walking through the business section and saw an interesting cover with a slanted matchstick imprinted on it. And I read the summary. And I found out how it is actually what has been happening to me in my D+ grade. Without further ado (also considering that it's NYT #1 bestseller), I bought it.

So far it has been an enjoyable read and I highly recommend this book for everybody else =D

*** Notes: it's really a coincidence how I found that book only one day after I had my consultation. But anyways, this kind of things happen to my life a lot. After having a great experience (be it good or bad but still memorable in some ways), I will find other things which I can relate my previous experience to.

=]

I'm very happy today :). Why? My parents came to visit ^^.
The bad thing is that I will be busy for the upcoming weeks =(, so I can't really keep them company most of the time...

Oh well, nothing much to say!

Writing: a result of practice

Do you believe that practice makes perfect?

There is this one argument that I made when I was really really lazy during Pelatnas 1 TOKI regarding this statement.

Practice makes perfect but nobody is perfect. So, why bother?

That was my thoughts back then.

Well, actually it still kind of makes sense now. What is wrong there is the statement 'practice makes perfect'. Instead of this, it should say something like 'practice makes you more proficient'. You can't be perfect, but you can be proficient.

This is what I truly feel about writing. And frankly speaking, I think posting blog entries helps. From my self assessment, I think I've become more proficient in writing structured message =). But yeah, still lagging behind in Management Communication (obviously, the D+ mark)

Well, I guess I have to keep the practice to achieve more proficiency =]

n.b. DO NOT SEEK FOR PERFECTION! If the statement that 'nobody is perfect' is true, then you really shouldn't seek perfection in your life. Why? You'll end up disappointed because you can never be perfect.

AS midterm

Yesterday I took my AS midterm.
*pray to God that all will be well*

Sorry, no idea what else to post.

How come a lot of dailies posts lately?
Because there's not many interesting things that happened other than daily life (classes, projects, etc) - a sign that school is getting more hectic.

Oh, I miss the first half of the term.. It was still hectic, but not only for schoolwork. I managed to survived THREE productions (HONK!, Choir [twice], and GAYA). Sigh...

But I guess it's nice to be busy although it might be stressful sometimes. *can't imagine what I'm going to do when I'm not busy*

I have to start planning for my summer holiday. Do something useful.. Maybe, start up a small business? and treat it as another project =D. 8).